Go Easy on Yourself Somedays Yourethe Only One That Will
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"Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.
Everything passes.
That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.
Everything passes."
― No Longer Human
"This I want to believe implicitly: Man was born for love and revolution."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
"I am convinced that human life is filled with many pure, happy, serene examples of insincerity, truly splendid of their kind-of people deceiving one another without (strangely enough) any wounds being inflicted, of people who seem unaware even that they are deceiving one another."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness"
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people's faces."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"I thought, "I want to die. I want to die more than ever before. There's no chance now of a recovery. No matter what sort of thing I do, no matter what I do, it's sure to be a failure, just a final coating applied to my shame. That dream of going on bicycles to see a waterfall framed in summer leaves—it was not for the likes of me. All that can happen now is that one foul, humiliating sin will be piled on another, and my sufferings will become only the more acute. I want to die. I must die. Living itself is the source of sin."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"People talk of "social outcasts." The words apparently denote the miserable losers of the world, the vicious ones, but I feel as though I have been a "social outcast" from the moment I was born. If ever I meet someone society has designated as an outcast, I invariably feel affection for him, an emotion which carries me away in melting tenderness."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won't mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"Mine has been a life of much shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"I have always shook with fright before human beings. Unable as I was to feel the least particle of confidence in my ability to speak and act like a human being, I kept my solitary agonies locked in my breast. I kept my melancholy and my agitation hidden, careful lest any trace should be left exposed. I feigned an innocent optimism; I gradually perfected myself in the role of the farcical eccentric."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"What did he mean by "society"? The plural of human beings?"
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"Last year nothing happened
The year before nothing happened
And the year before that nothing
happened."
― The Setting Sun
The year before nothing happened
And the year before that nothing
happened."
― The Setting Sun
"All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about, how should I say it? - I don't know."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"Unhappiness. There are all kinds of unhappy people in the world. I suppose it would be no exaggeration to say that the world is composed entirely of unhappy people. But those people can fight their unhappiness with society fairly and squarly, and society for its part easily understands and sympathizes with such struggles. My unhappiness stemmed entirely from my own vices, and I had no way of fighting anybody."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"What, I wondered, did he mean by "society"? The plural of human beings? Where was the substance of this thing called "society"? I had spent my whole life thinkng that society must certainly be something powerful, harsh and severe, but to hear Horiki talk made the words "Don't you mean yourself?" come to the tip of my tongue. But I held the words back, reluctant to anger him.
'Society won't stand for it.'
'It's not society. You're the one who won't stand for it - right?'
'If you do such a thing society will make you suffer for it'
'It's not society. It's you, isn't it?'
'Before you know it, you'll be ostracized by society.'
'It's not society. You're going to do the ostracizing, aren't you?'
Words, words of every kind went flitting through my head. "Know thy particular fearsomeness, thy knavery, cunning and witchcraft!" What I said, however, as I wiped the perspiration from my face with a handkerchief was merely, "You've put me in a cold sweat!" I smiled.
From then on, however, I came to hold, almost as a philosophical conviction, the belief: What is society but an individual?"
― No Longer Human
'Society won't stand for it.'
'It's not society. You're the one who won't stand for it - right?'
'If you do such a thing society will make you suffer for it'
'It's not society. It's you, isn't it?'
'Before you know it, you'll be ostracized by society.'
'It's not society. You're going to do the ostracizing, aren't you?'
Words, words of every kind went flitting through my head. "Know thy particular fearsomeness, thy knavery, cunning and witchcraft!" What I said, however, as I wiped the perspiration from my face with a handkerchief was merely, "You've put me in a cold sweat!" I smiled.
From then on, however, I came to hold, almost as a philosophical conviction, the belief: What is society but an individual?"
― No Longer Human
"To wait. In our lives we know joy, anger, sorrow, and a hundred other emotions, but these emotions all together occupy a bare one percent of our time. The remaining ninety-nine percent is just living in waiting. I wait in momentary expectation, feeling as though my breasts are being crushed, for the sound in the corridor of the footsteps of happiness. Empty. Oh, life is too painful, the reality that confirms the universal belief that it is best not to be born."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
"The thought of dying has never bothered me, but getting hurt, losing blood, becoming crippled and the like—no thanks."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"I am afraid because I can so clearly foresee my own life rotting away of itself, like a leaf that rots without falling, while I pursue my round of existence from day to day."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
"The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"After being hurt by the world so much, they began to see the demons within humans. So without hiding it through trickery, they worked to express it."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"When I pretended to be precocious, people started the rumor that I was precocious. When I acted like an idler, rumor had it I was an idler. When I pretended I couldn't write a novel, people said I couldn't write. When I acted like a liar, they called me a liar. When I acted like a rich man, they started the rumor I was rich. When I feigned indifference, they classed me as the indifferent type. But when I inadvertently groaned because I was really in pain, they started the rumor that I was faking suffering. The world is out of joint."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
"I like roses best. But they bloom in all four seasons. I wonder if people who like roses best have to die four times over again."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
"Is it not true that no two human beings understand anything whatsoever about each other, that those who consider themselves bosom friends may be utterly mistaken about their fellow and, failing to realize this sad truth throughout a lifetime, weep when they read in the newspapers about his death?"
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"In my case such an expression as 'to be fallen for' or even 'to be loved' is not in the least appropriate; perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"I could believe in hell, but it was impossible for me to believe in the existence of heaven."
― No Longer Human
― No Longer Human
"I want to spend my time with people who don't look to be respected. But such good people won't want to spend their time with me."
― The Setting Sun
― The Setting Sun
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No Longer Human
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